


Outwitted

by RuinNine



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 04:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuinNine/pseuds/RuinNine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solving unusual issues calls for unusual measures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outwitted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lumaste](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumaste/gifts).



> So, because my beloved Real Madrid won 2:8 today and my hometown club Mainz 05 beat the mighty BVB with 2:0, I'm obviously _very_ high on delight and glee. So I decided to post this unbetaed and unedited (a crazy move for me). It's a silly little thing I dedicate to Lu for her friendship and ability to make me laugh all the time. Much love, you lovely evil girl!
> 
> Still no native speaker.

— † —

 

 

At first, Barney doesn't see it. The two of them have hit if off right from the start, and sometimes, he can't believe they've known each other for only six months. There's an understanding between them that doesn't need many words, and it reminds him of himself and Christmas in many ways. John of course is the indisputable leader of the young pack, with his charismatic demeanour and improvising talent. For someone known to have a problem with orders, he fits into the Expendables surprisingly well, and it pleases Barney to see that he finally found a goal to fight for, and a place to settle.

 

The sense of restlessness and indifference that has been clinging to him during the first few missions has finally worn off, and it unearthed some qualities probably even John didn't know he had. Little by little, Barney has taken up composing his plans for the next mission on the big tabletop in the middle of the hangar instead of his office at home, as more often than not, John will watch him and add a few pieces of advice here and there.

 

It is advice that is clearly influenced by Thorn's presence on the team. His area of expertise is an important asset to the Expendables and it allows them to do many things differently, reducing the risks they have to take and allowing for last minute changes if anything unexpected turns up. His skill of strategic planning and his kind and laid-back character also have a stabilizing effect on the team – and on John even more so. He's grown remarkably less reckless in the way he's carrying out his part of the missions, remarkably less indifferent about his own life. Where the two of them lead, the others will follow, and Barney thinks it's good to know that there's someone he can pass the torch to once he decides to hang up his guns (not that he'd ever admit it out loud).

 

Christmas of course knows exactly what's going on, and he watches John's doings with extra care and a permanent frown on his face. Barney, however, has learned to see past the puffed up chest and the snarky comments long ago, and he knows Christmas will have John's back once the time comes. Long story cut short, Barney couldn't be more satisfied with the way things turned out for them after the near disaster of the Stonebanks case. But of course, things don't always go as planned.

 

_It was a simple enough mission. Get in, intercept the chemical weapon from changing from the pocket of one warlord to that of another and get the hell out. Barney and John were waiting next door of the rendezvous point, standing ready to go do the dirty work, while Thorn sat in a TV broadcasting van down the street (not so unusual in Tel Aviv now with things going south), monitoring their mission. In case someone slipped through their grasp, Christmas and the Doctor were covering the two exits of the block._

 

“ _Guys...” They exchanged a look as Thorn's voice sounded in their ears. “The buyer just entered. Way in through the balcony is clear.”_

 

“ _Copy that.”_

 

_Barney motioned for John to get ready and threw one last glance down to the street, watching the door fall shut behind the buyer's bodyguards. Satisfied, he was just about to move away from the window when his gaze caught on something that made him pause and look again. Under the watchful eye of the seller's bouncer, two men with machine guns hanging loosely over their shoulders were moving down the street – straight for their van._

 

“ _Thorn!”_

 

“ _Yeah?”_

 

“ _Be careful. You might get visitors. Two guys, to the West, green and red shirts.”_

 

“ _Okay, let me just-”_

 

_The rest of the sentence got lost when John suddenly appeared at his side and pushed him out of the way to have a look himself. His shoulders tensed up and the grip on his gun tightened as soon as he too saw the men closing in on the van. “Shit...”_

 

_It was only due to Barney's quick reflexes that he managed to catch John by the wrist when he suddenly spun on his heel and made for the door. “Stop! He can deal with it himself. We have a plan to stick to!”_

 

“ _Fuck the plan!”_

 

_He struggled against Barney's grip who swore under his breath and pinned him against the wall. John snarled as his back hit the concrete and ripped his head back to glare daggers at him. But amidst the anger, there was something else in his eyes, something suspiciously close to fear, and it took Barney by surprise. His hold on John loosened just a fraction, but it was enough. With a sudden push at his chest, John slipped through his grasp and dashed down the stairs. Barney could hear the front door hitting the wall, and he arrived just one and a half seconds before all hell broke loose._

 

_In that one and a half seconds, he had assessed the situation and he had just enough time to swear before bullets hit the door frame next to John's head and he was forced to pull him back into the house. The two men with the machine guns had passed their van, paying it no heed whatsoever, but the bouncer standing guard in front of the seller's house had immediately spotted John in the doorway – and unfortunately, it didn't take him long to realize what was going on. From that moment on, everything was a mess of bullets and explosions, and in the end, they were forced to retreat without the weapon._

 

_On the way back to the plane, no one talked to John. Everyone involved was mightily pissed off at him, but they reserved the impending lecture for Barney who of course wasn't happy at all with how the mission had turned out, either. He didn't get to deliver the moralizing speech, though. As soon as the plane was in the air, Thorn stomped over to John and pointed a finger right in his face._

 

“ _This shit better not happen again, Smilee!”_

 

_For a moment, John looked torn between rising to the challenge and nodding his head in defeat, but then his temper won out. “Yeah? Should I let them fry your ass next time then?!”_

 

_Thorn huffed and stabbed him in the shoulder. “They didn't even belong to the target! If you hadn't lost your head, the mission would've been successful! And besides, it's not like I can't take care of two guys. I didn't get recommended for this team just because I'm a geek!”_

 

_John blinked and then snorted. “You're not a-”_

 

“ _Shut up!” Thorn threw him one last nasty glare and then walked over to sit next to Doc, with his arms crossed and his back rigid. “Just... shut the fuck up!”_

 

“ _Oh oh,” Christmas muttered under his breath, a teasing grin spreading on his face. “Lover's spat.”_

 

“ _You shut up too, or I'll ruin every bit of technology you own with a single virus!”_

 

_Christmas sent Barney an amused look in the safety of the cockpit, but even he knew better than to believe it was an idle threat._

 

After that incident, the two youngsters don't speak for two weeks and refuse to be assigned to the same missions, and Barney only then realizes the full value of their in-tune collaboration, because their radio silence affects the whole team. Badly. While Luna glares at John and Thorn in turns, making them pout in defiance on more than one occasion, Mars uneasily buries himself in weapon maintenance and workout sessions. The older members just watch grumpily, prowling the sidelines and wondering what the hell has happened to the team spirit. It's only when they start talking again, tentatively at first, and then quickly falling back into their old routine, that the tensions within the Expendables finally ease up.

 

After all those days of cold looks and blatantly ignoring each other, it is striking how close the two of them actually are once the waters have smoothed over, but Barney remembers the terrified look in John's eyes and pays extra-close attention to the way they act around one another. And then he finally sees it.

 

He sees it in the way Thorn leans into John when he's showing him something on a map, their hips almost touching, but not quite. He sees it in the way they sit together at the bar after a mission, content with just lounging there in silence until the antiques of their colleagues will make them laugh, and John rests a hand on Thorn's neck as they grin at one another, a brotherly gesture but for the barely noticeable caresses of his fingertips. And he sees it in the way they inconspicuously check each other over for injuries whenever they have survived a particularly close call, how they will not leave each other's sight on the way home.

 

Christmas was right, Barney thinks as he finally averts his gaze and rubs a hand down his face, he was right and he didn't even know it. He also thinks that secrets within the team that lead to mishaps just like the one in Tel Aviv are unacceptable, and he knows he will have to clear it up sooner rather than later. Thankfully, he already has a plan, and it will even involve technology. The wonders of today's smartphones include a calendar after all.

 

 

— † —

 

 

“Barney? Hey... uh... what's up?”

 

Barney grins in greeting and purposefully ignores how Thorn turns a few shades paler as he steps over the threshold without waiting for an invitation (usually, that's not his style, but Thorn doesn't need to know that). “You told me to come by anytime to get that... whatever, I can't remember the name. That antenna thing we talked about?”

 

Thorn covers up his relief almost too well. “The goTenna?”

 

“Yeah, that one.”

 

“Sure, give me a second.”

 

As Thorn disappears down the hall in the direction of his office, or bedroom, or wherever he stores his hundreds of devices and spare parts, Barney takes the liberty of taking a look into the kitchen, and bingo – the table is set for two, and there's something cooking away in the oven.

 

Barney turns away when he hears Thorn coming back, and he just catches him pocketing his phone. Damn. A warning. “You expecting a lady?”

 

If he didn't know what to look for, Barney would miss the tiny moment of hesitation as Thorn hands him the antenna, but now that he does know, it's as clear as day. “Yeah. Sorry for kicking you out.”

 

“No worries. Thanks for this.” He moves towards the door, but then he fakes a sudden afterthought. “You should have bought some flowers, man. Ladies love themselves some flowers.”

 

Thorn smiles a wry smile. “Not this one, though. Trust me.”

 

Ha, Barney thinks as he waves and disappears down the corridor, I bet.

 

 

— † —

 

 

He doesn't linger in the doorway as he exits Thorn's apartment building. He doesn't look left and right as he walks to his car. He doesn't hesitate as he revs up the engine and leaves in the direction of his own house. He doesn't hurry, but he doesn't slow down either before he turns the corner. He knows he's being watched by a trained professional who will remain in his hiding place for a few minutes longer, so he drives down a few more blocks before he turns into a parking lot. He makes himself comfortable in his seat and switches on the receiver.

 

And indeed, it takes twenty more minutes of listening to Thorn puttering about the kitchen and humming along to the radio before the doorbell finally rings. Barney cranks up the volume a bit and strains his ears, but he can barely hear what they are saying in the hall. Damn. He should've put the bug closer to the door.

 

“So...” John's voice sounds decidedly closer now and Barney releases the breath he's been holding. “What did he want?”

 

“Pick up that outdoor antenna we've been talking about. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a moment when I opened the door. I thought it was you.”

 

“Thank God I'm never early.”

 

They share a bout of laughter at the pun and Barney rolls his eyes. Boys.

 

“Well, thank God I didn't say anything before I saw who it was.”

 

“Like what? 'Hey, honey, I didn't expect you yet! Let me just finish fixing my hair.'?” There's a deep chuckle and a snort from Thorn, but when John speaks again, his voice has lost all playfulness. “There is a spyhole on your door, you know. In our profession, it would probably be wise to use it.”

 

“Oh, hush. Not that story again.”

 

“Just saying.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Sit down, shut up, eat my perfect dinner, say thank you, and then shut up some more.”

 

“What? You think you can make me?”

 

“Oh yes, I think I can, you half-wi-”

 

There is a suspiciously long pause, and Barney suddenly hopes they won't forget about dinner. He certainly didn't plan on listening to _that._ But then there's quiet laughter and the sound of cutlery and he sighs in relief. Right. Next step.

 

 

— † —

 

 

This time, Thorn is already pale when he opens the door. “Forgot something, Barney?”

 

“Yeah,” Barney says cheerfully and once again pushes past Thorn who's only half-heartedly blocking the entrance. “Sorry for interrupting your date, but is there a manual for this thing? I just realized you didn't give me one.”

 

Thorn looks positively sick by now, even though he tries valiantly to play it cool. “Yeah, there is. But I don't know where I put it. Can I bring it next time we meet up at the hangar? Because, you know-” He tilts his head towards the kitchen door with a meaningful look. “-I have a _guest.”_

 

Barney nods, his face suddenly serious. “Yeah, I know.” He steps into the kitchen, and John immediately jumps up from his chair and opens his mouth to no doubt offer some smooth excuse. “Save it. There's no need.”

 

He reaches up and pulls the bug down from where he hid it behind the kitchen clock, and for a few seconds, its ticking is the only sound in the stunned silence until John sinks back down into his seat. “Well, shit.”

 

Thorn, on the other hand, looks absolutely livid. “You put a fucking _wire_ in my kitchen? Since when?”

 

“Only half an hour ago.”

 

Understanding immediately dawns on his face, but Thorn will not give in so easily. “That's so not cool, Barney. Since when did the Expendables turn into the NS-freakin-A?!”

 

“Thorn...”

 

He whips around to face John who watches him with a weary calmness. “Don't you 'Thorn' me! It's none of his business what we do between missions!”

 

Barney clears his throat. “It is my business when it endangers not only the success of a mission, but also my entire team.” John immediately looks down at his half-finished plate, and Thorn's eyes narrow, but he doesn't reply. “I am responsible for their lives, and I won't tolerate any secrets that put them at risk. Besides, all this hiding eats up a lot of your energy, and I need you at 100%.”

 

John sits back in his chair, already resigned to his fate. “Luna knows. She always had a hunch, but she wasn't sure until after Tel Aviv.”

 

“You talked to her?”

 

John raises his hands in defence. “Just this morning. I was going to tell you.”

 

Thorn leans against the fridge and crosses his arms. “Does anyone else know? Christmas maybe?”

 

“No. He'd tease the shit out of us if he knew.”

 

Thorn lets loose a bitter laugh. “See? That's exactly what I don't need on missions! I've worked my ass off to get rid of the rookie status, and now that I finally outgrew that shit, I'm going to be the team's very own fairy. Thank you very much, but hell no!”

 

There is something else in his voice apart from anger. It sounds like memories and John looks up at him with a gentle expression that Barney has never seen on his face before. “Thorn... Come on. It was only a matter of time.”

 

Barney can't read the looks that pass between them, but they feel private and intimate, so he backs up a step towards the hall. “Think about it. The team will give you shit about it, yeah. But they won't think any less of you, and it will die down soon enough.”

 

He's almost at the door when he hears footsteps behind him. “Barney?” He turns around and nods for John to continue. “Thanks.”

 

It's clear that he doesn't want to have the conversation that's going to follow, but more than anything else, he looks relieved, and Barney realizes he's not the only one waiting for them to come out to the team. “Sure.”

 

 

— † —

 

 

When Thorn enters the hangar on the eve of their next mission, with John trailing a few feet behind, he's wearing an expression of intense determination, and Barney allows himself a moment of satisfaction and pride. It seems like his plan has worked out well after all. But then he suddenly realizes that Thorn is walking right past the rest of the Expendables without so much as his standard cheerful 'hello'.

 

And he's also aiming straight for him. The good feeling vanishes in an instant, and he looks past Thorn's shoulder at John, silently trying to convey the questions that pile at the forefront of his mind: Is he going to quit? Is he going to take a swing at me? John, however, doesn't budge and his face remains impassive, not giving away a single clue to what this is about.

 

Thorn has finally reached him, but he doesn't look like he's going to punch him. There's that at least. “Thank you for the offer, Barney,” he says smoothly, and his voice carries wide in the dead silence of their team watching closely. “I really appreciate it.”

 

And then he takes the final step forward and kisses Barney straight on the mouth. His back goes rigid and his mind turns into a blank canvas, but as soon as he gets his body back under control, his arms finally coming up to push Thorn away, he already steps back of his own accord, a smug grin on his face. And all of a sudden, it dawns on Barney what this is about. It is revenge and a coming out all rolled into one. Still, he can only watch, incredulously, as Thorn strolls back across the hangar, sidestepping his gaping team mates until he reaches John. He raises a hand to hook his fingers into the belt loops of his cargo pants and pulls him close.

 

As John loops an arm across his shoulders, he turns back to Barney, that blasted grin still on his face. “You're hot, in an aged-action-movie-star kind of way. But I'm already spoken for, sorry.”

 

And then he kisses the widely grinning John, who looks entirely too pleased with his boyfriend. The show is accompanied by a series of wolf whistles and roaring laughter, and Gunner thumps Barney on the back with a bit too much force as he adds some lewd comments to the mix. And all Barney can think is: the cheeky shit.

 

But then again, he had it coming.

 

 

— † —

 

 

No idea where this came from. Thanks for reading! :D


End file.
